nestingdevil: ➥ <lj user="headshot"> (Default)
the name's greed ([personal profile] nestingdevil) wrote2024-02-19 03:17 pm

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"Welcome to HT&T answering service. Unfortunately, the asshole you're trying to reach hasn't set up shit. Leave your name (or don't), your number, and whatever the Hell (ha ha!) message you want. We don't get paid enough for this."

Beep.

➥ Text | ➥ Message | ➥ Video | ➥ Action | ➥ Redial
konpeito_aji: (That's an order)

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[personal profile] konpeito_aji 2024-08-29 03:47 am (UTC)(link)
[Fuck it, he switches to video and laughs lightly.] Yeah. I tried when I first met her. She handled it even more poorly than I expected, and I did not expect it to go well.

No look, she's... Different. She's not from any world similar to Earth at all. I don't ever bother pretending that stuff with her, because not only would she not get it, she would just shut me down, and straight away shoot me.

[Another laugh and he runs a hand through his hair.] I met her the night Crichton died. Sonnuva bitch, he was the first person I met there, and thus, the first American, and he's an astronaut, space explorer. And he never treated me like -- [Shrug.] Like anything. Just me as me, whatever that meant. No one's ever done that before. Not even Klaus. He asked me to protect him from enemies from afar, and I took it really seriously, because he was living the life I wanted and couldn't have, and I've had assassins and ninjas after me my whole life. But when it came down to it, he died and he didn't even call me for help. He's always like that. Tayrey I met that night, first time I tried absinthe, the works. She's military too, and just like my right hand in personality so everything was just good timing.

A couple weeks later is when I was playing with Siffleur. Werecougar, cannibal, friend. I wanted to see what happens when you die on the ship, how the body retrieval worked. If it used wormholes, or possibly nuero-transplants. Spare bodies, or time itself. Testing a theory on the place itself being wholly artificial. So if you get completely eaten and digested, then it can't be easily repaired, even Space force style phasers. Tayrey was... devastated. A lot like Hideyoshi. So I promised not to keep doing it.

Thing is, she doesn't know what she's looking for here. She's an astrogator. Her favorite things are the same, but she's --

Listen, I would never try to take away her freedom. Especially her. Things are weird now, because our situation's different. But to deal with me, and that I'm the only one who knows things about her life, she's treating me like an equal tradeliner -- one of her army. That's a vast difference. The Tayrey I know looked at me as her commanding officer. This is better, don't get me wrong. But I'm not a Tradeliner. I've seen some of her normal experiences, but it's not my normal. She's never seen my Hell, and I can help here only so much, but for the most part, we're just more different than ever.

She keeps expecting me to do the same thing her friends would, and then when I try, I get it wrong.

I tried to tell her how big Earth is, and she blanked out, it was huge, more than she was expecting. Then I tried to tell her about swarm theory and why Earth can use its numbers to its advantages, and she got upset because she thought I was saying humans are insects that need to be controlled and that they don't think, and don't have free will, and lectured me on freedom. [Gently bangs his head against a wall.] I've tried to ask what she wants to do here or beyond, and she shuts down because there is no beyond for her, and whenever I try to encourage her thinking there could be, again; shuts down. And I KNOW I'm overly worried about the past, a different Tayrey who isn't HERE, worried about her breaking because -- reasons. But I can't even -- [DEEP BREATH.] Help her navigate the pitfalls because she's as bad as Oichi with just [Falsetto voice:] "Let me fight too, big brother!" You're five, Oichi. I'm not underestimating you by asking you not to fight, I just can't also treat you the same as a soldier who's got another decade of experience over even my head!

And I did a TON of listening. I'm just not being heard, and I don't know what to say it or how to fix it. If it can be. I asked her to come for drinks but she shot me down hard, because "our values are just too different." She doesn't think I value freedom, which would be BIG NEWS to my family who fucking disowned me over it. She thinks I don't value humanity despite again, my problem being that I wanted to elevate humans over gods because they're real, she's not trying to see the commonalities, so the differences are just glaring to her, and she's not open to figuring me out and I am trying to be comprehensible... [GRRRRRR. GRRRRRRRRRRR....]

And the thing that's just getting to me in the heart, [Fist over heart.] is she just wants to shoot everyone and be done with it. Only after they initiate aggression. Okay, fine, but maybe she's right that we're too opposite? Because she's always just been able to shoot pirates from a distance, not ONCE see them up close and personal, have to talk to them and convince them to change, so she doesn't think they can. OH AND she thinks it's WAY more monstrous to stab someone and let them live after that. And maybe she's right, because I sure as fuck prefer to torture idiots into changing their ways. That's not even phrasing, that's jsut facts.

She's not even trying to understand me and Noi and why we'll disarm the imps or beat them silly, but killing is last resort. And she's fucking better than this. She just doesn't know it yet, and if she doesn't try, she never will be. And how the hell is she going to tell me she values freedom higher than me, if she just kills anyone who she deems a problem? Dead people aren't free, Tayrey, they just stop being your problem and they're someone else's instead.
konpeito_aji: (TEEHEE!)

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[personal profile] konpeito_aji 2024-08-29 04:11 am (UTC)(link)
[Paces about his room and kicks things.]

Yeah, don't worry, I knew what you meant. I can get jealous over Klaus, but -- [Light grin.] Not often. He had a whole cult, after all. He needs all the friends he can get and -- [Holds up the hand with his wedding ring, for now the kote gauntlets are off.] I've mentioned you a lot, only fair given the vice versa, yeah? Equal exchange. Still gotta tell him about our tango. [Laughs. FOR REAL this time, not the over the top raucous he has with Noi, just light-hearted, like loving life.] That'll go well. When BJ was a car, he was making a million kinds of jokes I knew Klaus could respond to better than me, but I decided it would be a good idea to tell Klaus about it as "I went for a ride in someone." I think that face is going to be etched into my soul forever. I've never seen Klaus lose his cool like that. Definitely made me certain that yeah, I was right about them. All their trying to push me away was for them, not me. [But he's happy! A little blushy, but happy.]

But I like fighting. And Noi and I want to see who's stronger. I should rephrase that, she already beat me in arm wrestling. I wanted to show her how I use being smaller to my advantage in a real fight. Besides, she regenerates, she'll be fine. And she's like Tayrey, she'd give me so much shit if I said, "Oh you're a woman though, I can't go all out on a woman." [Chinhands.] Actually that is definitely something I didn't tell Tayrey here. I didn't know how. I did on the ship because Oichi came up and it was a lot to explain. I tried to have women allowed in my army at home. Kichou wanted an all female gunner division. Well, his twin sister was sort of my fiance, so he loves guns, and that women are a lot closer to being equals because of them. And we both thought it would be a good way to undermine female ninjas. They have a sort of monopoly on women fighters, because I can make any man a samurai. [Annoyed frown.] But even one woman would be pushing it too far for my time. [HUFF!!! And waves a hand.]

Maybe it doesn't matter here? I mean... it definitely doesn't matter here, I just mean, maybe it doesn't matter for her to know. Fuck, I don't even remember -- wait yes I do. I was going to say I don't remember why she and I started discussing values in the first place. It was because of the circumstances thing. I didn't want her to just shoot everyone without getting to know their circumstances, motivations, reasons. Still don't.

If I bring an offering to Kamora, will it help with Fight Night? Noi likes her, she's just... [Laughs.] That's her way of showing it. Another thing I can't possible explain to any Tradeliner no matter who they are.