[ He feels like his madness is clearing just a little. But it probably isn't. The fog that he thinks is lifting is actually putting him in another new area. One where he isn't sure he feels safe in -- the desire to want to bleed for others so that they can feel validated in their own sense of right and wrong. That which even the Empire could not do with a smile.
But ... ]
It doesn't suit me. I'm much better the aggressor than one who would lie down for anyone, right? [ ... ] I thought of what someone said to me. His name was Julian... he is now gone. He told me to forget about all the people who abandoned me and try to move on.
But how can you do that? How can you forget about your family, your race, your friends, your fathers? How can you hate them and leave those memories behind? What would you be left as? [ The elf lets out a soft sigh. He hates this mood. He would rather be drinking blood and laughing at how pale the person is rather than this. ]
I'm feeling sorry for myself and I'm not sure why.
[If it had been video, there would have been an exaggerated frown. A raising of both eyebrows to make lines of his forehead. Instead, there's only silence. Quiet with the lick of liquor at a glass's edge. Greed runs his thumb up the rounded side, reclines forward on the receiving end.]
[His grin turns to something else. Letting part of his jaws open, as if what Yaha says hits a chord. The last strum of a girl's guitar.]
None of those matter much to me, or didn't you get that? [Fathers, race, family. But friends are a different matter - friends. Greed's not sure he still believes what he told Ling in his final moments and he licks his lips, draws in a breath. What comes next is an awful sort of laugh. Curdling in his throat, hissing through his teeth.] Don't mistake me for someone else, Yaha. I'm just not that kind of guy.
[Greed clicks his teeth shut and forces a smile. There are some things better left unsaid and this is one of them.] Choice - [The Sin states as his fingers unfurl from his glass with an audible series of clicks.] - it seems to me that's what you're really asking. Whether to leave it all behind or actually go after what you really want.
[But the homunculus isn't one for serious conversation. So he shrugs, tosses the glass up with a thud, and tosses both hands out on the other side of the line.] I think you know the answer to that - I'm just not interested.
Now who is lying? Of course, they matter to you... or else you would not care if they would be torn to pieces underneath my hand. [ The days when he felt sorry for himself really were the worst. He wants the fog to come back so he can no longer see himself, no longer catch a glimpse of the world which he sees around him. ]
... your choice would be that I go after what I really want. But we both know that it wouldn't make me happy.
[ A loud sigh. He shakes his head from side to side. ] One day, I hope you will make use of the violence inside of me.
[The glass spins. Grinding against the top of the desk as Greed scoffs. Laughs. Wide-mouthed and sharp-toothed; he slaps the broad-side with an open palm.] Don't mistake my avarice for something it isn't, Yaha. I just don't let anyone take what's mine.
[Greed pulls away, clacking both heels solidly to the floor. They could do this for hours: argue the rights and wrongs. The what and what-if(s). Whether he's good or bad or both. The Sin doesn't really give a damn either way.]
Maybe. Like I said before this whole thing happened - if you need to, I'm built a bit stronger than the rest. [The homunculus' voice is like vinegar to milk. Curdling the substance, making it thick.]
What you want - everyone wants something, Yaha. Whether or not that makes them happy? [Greed shrugs. This kind of conversation isn't for him and his eyes snapped shut.] I guess it's up to them, isn't it?
[ So dismissive. Greed is just as difficult as he can be. ]
I want to be loved completely and obsessively. I want to be able to love the same and know that I will not destroy the person who I have targeted. [ ... ] But even if I adore and worship some of the men here, they are weak. They would not be capable of handling my madness. They would shatter under the pressure and ... the events which I try to keep for escalating will escalate. Blood will rain down upon the ground and stain my hands as I try to find a quiet place in my own head.
[For a while, Greed just listens. It's like the last will and testament of someone who lost their mind ages ago. Rambling, raving. The same as always: of blood and love. Of violence and some glorious kind of ending that just won't happen. Not the way he wants and the Sin taps his glass.]
Maybe not, but it's not like you're giving any a choice, are you? [The Sin bounces his heel, taps forward.] And the mortal lot may be weak, but sometimes they can surprise you.
[He leaves his ill-gotten liquor behind. Trailing away from a desk that would have served for a bar-top, to wander out. Into the hallway, where the usual quiet has been replaced with the humid-buzz of the mid-tropics. Greed flicks a match, pauses, then shakes it out.]
I guess you have to make a choice then, hmn? It's always better to take a deal, Yaha. Equivalent exchange - remember? Eh - [He can beat the horse all he wants, but in the end?]
[The rustling of fur gives evidence of another shrug.] Some will surprise you, friend.
Ha - ! [Greed slaps his thigh, briefly.] You're starting to sound more like them - thinking they were so much better. Sure, built tougher, but it's not like it helped 'em any.
[He presses his lips together, narrows his eyes with a vibration in his throat.] You don't?
I know there are some that are exemplary, but they are so few and far between. I lived through a rather awful war, Greed. I watched what humans could become at their worst. And when it was over, when the land and society was revived, they acted like it didn't happen. They acted like they had no choice and that... that is just the way things were and held no remorse in their hearts.
[Maybe it's his age, maybe it's the fact that he's seen wars, too. But they had been calculated in advance. Pawn after pawn pushed forward to make for calamity. He had been part of it once - the grand plan. And after a century or so, it had just grown stale.]
That's the one thing you have in common - what's right, what's wrong. You're so quick to get righteous, Yaha. Ever think for a second that that may be your problem?
[The Sin moves two clicks forward, one heel back. From the recording, there's crickets. Birds. Creatures rustling in the thick of it. As if they're just as lost, just as clueless, as it what to do next.] Of course, the mortal lot are - it's not like they have a lot of time. What do you expect? Eh- [The Sin sighs. Full of dramatics and it's all-too-clear the rolling of the eyes.] - it's not like they're about to change, but they aren't all so bad, y'know.
[ The elf makes a soft, huffing noise. The offense he felt obvious. ]
How is that my problem? Humans force us to live in their worlds and live by their laws. Yet if we turn the same eye upon them, they act otherwise.
[ There is scurrying in the background. His children giggling as they go. He pauses to turn towards them before sighing soft. The worry he has for them tears at his heart. Poor mad darlings. ]
No. There are some worth keeping. But only some. The rest should be flayed and fed to those far sweeter and kinder than they could ever hope to be.
[His tone is dry, his pitch low. It's as if he's speaking with a lazy-haze, one similar to someone just woken up from a particularly-long nap. Yaha's dauntless in his efforts, venomous when struck, and Greed shuts one eye on the other side of the feed. Had it been a video, there would have been one long cock-slanted smile. A knowing sort of gesture, as if he had heard the rant before in the two-centuries he has under his belt.]
[As it stands, it's just mild silence on the western front.] Most won't understand - as much as they may say otherwise. The mortal-lot likes what's at the surface. They don't really want to know what the underworld has in store, what's really going on until it's too late. But that's not their fault and you certainly can't blame 'em.
And who am I to judge? [A match sparks, spitting fire on the feed as a rush of air meets for an ignition point.] Seems to me you're already set on that idea, but I'll tell you this, Yaha:
[ The elf breathes in and out a few times. He pushes back his hair as he finds his calm. All that venom has nowhere to go. Swallowing thickly, he finds the red flickering just outside his vision fading until everything is as it should be. ]
I do wonder if one has the capability of saving me. But you would rather we save ourselves, right?
[The bottle grinds against the surface of wood until it's plucked up between his knuckles. Greed clacks his nails against the side of the neck, grinding the tips in as he listens.]
Save yourselves? No, not really. Like I just said: I'm always a fan of the underdog, Yaha.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
nestingdevil) wrote2013-08-29 06:10 am
➥ AUDIO
But ... ]
It doesn't suit me. I'm much better the aggressor than one who would lie down for anyone, right? [ ... ] I thought of what someone said to me. His name was Julian... he is now gone. He told me to forget about all the people who abandoned me and try to move on.
But how can you do that? How can you forget about your family, your race, your friends, your fathers? How can you hate them and leave those memories behind? What would you be left as? [ The elf lets out a soft sigh. He hates this mood. He would rather be drinking blood and laughing at how pale the person is rather than this. ]
I'm feeling sorry for myself and I'm not sure why.
Say... do you have someone that you want dead?
➥ AUDIO
[His grin turns to something else. Letting part of his jaws open, as if what Yaha says hits a chord. The last strum of a girl's guitar.]
None of those matter much to me, or didn't you get that? [Fathers, race, family. But friends are a different matter - friends. Greed's not sure he still believes what he told Ling in his final moments and he licks his lips, draws in a breath. What comes next is an awful sort of laugh. Curdling in his throat, hissing through his teeth.] Don't mistake me for someone else, Yaha. I'm just not that kind of guy.
[Greed clicks his teeth shut and forces a smile. There are some things better left unsaid and this is one of them.] Choice - [The Sin states as his fingers unfurl from his glass with an audible series of clicks.] - it seems to me that's what you're really asking. Whether to leave it all behind or actually go after what you really want.
[But the homunculus isn't one for serious conversation. So he shrugs, tosses the glass up with a thud, and tosses both hands out on the other side of the line.] I think you know the answer to that - I'm just not interested.
➥ AUDIO
... your choice would be that I go after what I really want. But we both know that it wouldn't make me happy.
[ A loud sigh. He shakes his head from side to side. ] One day, I hope you will make use of the violence inside of me.
➥ AUDIO
[Greed pulls away, clacking both heels solidly to the floor. They could do this for hours: argue the rights and wrongs. The what and what-if(s). Whether he's good or bad or both. The Sin doesn't really give a damn either way.]
Maybe. Like I said before this whole thing happened - if you need to, I'm built a bit stronger than the rest. [The homunculus' voice is like vinegar to milk. Curdling the substance, making it thick.]
What you want - everyone wants something, Yaha. Whether or not that makes them happy? [Greed shrugs. This kind of conversation isn't for him and his eyes snapped shut.] I guess it's up to them, isn't it?
➥ AUDIO
[ So dismissive. Greed is just as difficult as he can be. ]
I want to be loved completely and obsessively. I want to be able to love the same and know that I will not destroy the person who I have targeted. [ ... ] But even if I adore and worship some of the men here, they are weak. They would not be capable of handling my madness. They would shatter under the pressure and ... the events which I try to keep for escalating will escalate. Blood will rain down upon the ground and stain my hands as I try to find a quiet place in my own head.
➥ AUDIO
Maybe not, but it's not like you're giving any a choice, are you? [The Sin bounces his heel, taps forward.] And the mortal lot may be weak, but sometimes they can surprise you.
[He leaves his ill-gotten liquor behind. Trailing away from a desk that would have served for a bar-top, to wander out. Into the hallway, where the usual quiet has been replaced with the humid-buzz of the mid-tropics. Greed flicks a match, pauses, then shakes it out.]
I guess you have to make a choice then, hmn? It's always better to take a deal, Yaha. Equivalent exchange - remember? Eh - [He can beat the horse all he wants, but in the end?]
[It'll still be dead.]
➥ AUDIO
[ ... ] You really believe in them, don't you?
➥ AUDIO
Ha - ! [Greed slaps his thigh, briefly.] You're starting to sound more like them - thinking they were so much better. Sure, built tougher, but it's not like it helped 'em any.
[He presses his lips together, narrows his eyes with a vibration in his throat.] You don't?
➥ AUDIO
[ He lets out a soft sigh. ]
I know there are some that are exemplary, but they are so few and far between. I lived through a rather awful war, Greed. I watched what humans could become at their worst. And when it was over, when the land and society was revived, they acted like it didn't happen. They acted like they had no choice and that... that is just the way things were and held no remorse in their hearts.
They were worse than what I am.
➥ AUDIO
[Maybe it's his age, maybe it's the fact that he's seen wars, too. But they had been calculated in advance. Pawn after pawn pushed forward to make for calamity. He had been part of it once - the grand plan. And after a century or so, it had just grown stale.]
That's the one thing you have in common - what's right, what's wrong. You're so quick to get righteous, Yaha. Ever think for a second that that may be your problem?
[The Sin moves two clicks forward, one heel back. From the recording, there's crickets. Birds. Creatures rustling in the thick of it. As if they're just as lost, just as clueless, as it what to do next.] Of course, the mortal lot are - it's not like they have a lot of time. What do you expect? Eh- [The Sin sighs. Full of dramatics and it's all-too-clear the rolling of the eyes.] - it's not like they're about to change, but they aren't all so bad, y'know.
➥ AUDIO
How is that my problem? Humans force us to live in their worlds and live by their laws. Yet if we turn the same eye upon them, they act otherwise.
[ There is scurrying in the background. His children giggling as they go. He pauses to turn towards them before sighing soft. The worry he has for them tears at his heart. Poor mad darlings. ]
No. There are some worth keeping. But only some. The rest should be flayed and fed to those far sweeter and kinder than they could ever hope to be.
➥ AUDIO
[His tone is dry, his pitch low. It's as if he's speaking with a lazy-haze, one similar to someone just woken up from a particularly-long nap. Yaha's dauntless in his efforts, venomous when struck, and Greed shuts one eye on the other side of the feed. Had it been a video, there would have been one long cock-slanted smile. A knowing sort of gesture, as if he had heard the rant before in the two-centuries he has under his belt.]
[As it stands, it's just mild silence on the western front.] Most won't understand - as much as they may say otherwise. The mortal-lot likes what's at the surface. They don't really want to know what the underworld has in store, what's really going on until it's too late. But that's not their fault and you certainly can't blame 'em.
And who am I to judge? [A match sparks, spitting fire on the feed as a rush of air meets for an ignition point.] Seems to me you're already set on that idea, but I'll tell you this, Yaha:
I've always been a bit of a fan of the underdog.
➥ AUDIO
[ The elf breathes in and out a few times. He pushes back his hair as he finds his calm. All that venom has nowhere to go. Swallowing thickly, he finds the red flickering just outside his vision fading until everything is as it should be. ]
I do wonder if one has the capability of saving me. But you would rather we save ourselves, right?
➥ AUDIO
Save yourselves? No, not really. Like I just said: I'm always a fan of the underdog, Yaha.
What is it you really want from me here?
➥ AUDIO
[ Then he won't have to take responsibility for himself. ]