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[Greed inhales and as the tip of the cigarette churns to a low-belly red, he slowly arches one of his eyebrows.]
[He can handle it, huh?]
nothing faithful abot it. but whatvr you say
started here then. ha ! you shuld really know by now that i dont hold anything back. that includs the drinks blues
[The Sin pitches his cigarette down the alleyway. It hits the pavement in a puff of sparks before drowning itself in an ice-sloshed puddle.]
didnt think you needed sleep eithr. been lyin to me feathrs? and here ive been so honest [He teases (well, as much as he can through text).]
[However, there's a bit of a pause on his end. And maybe, he's gotten caught up in some business. Maybe someone pulled him aside. Either way, it takes about five minutes for his next response.]
yeah yeah im sure you are. and sorry cant do that. not exctly the singing type. ah hold on
[Another, quick second goes by. Eventually though, he manages to send over a picture. The image is just a shot of his hand with three of his claws spread apart in a stiff, double-tailed L-shape.]
did u do that on purposd! that was rude anc uncalled for
i'll just have to yry them all adn sre
[ Yes, Michael, he purposefully upped the drinks just to bully you and drinking more is the best solution. ]
we sleep, im just veyr buzy. busy. w hen i tire myslf out i sleep or if i sue to much pwr
[ it takes Michael even longer to get back to him because he is squinting at the picture and probably even conferring with his fellow drunken party member. ]
ypu are cheating thag is blurry [ No it isn't. Rather that dwell on this perceived deception, he continues on. ] ok i am BAD at drinks but i am so gooc at karOKE
[ The proof is in the pudding or in this case in a short video. For a guy who says he dislikes singing he is damn good at it, singing a moving rendition of I'll Be Good. But he doesn't seem to be looking at any of the crowd, he is staring at the air above them and belting out his pain, which none of them understand. No one ever does. They just see a pretty face, an angel, letting himself go and they are here for it. Especially a group of succubi who are ninety-nine percent guilty of putting those lipstick smears on his collar. ]
im not trying all the drinks by the way i hav to ge up darly tomorrow
hey hey cant blame me this time. wasnt me behind the bar feathers
[Greed turns, sliding his heel from the door to let it shut behind him. The lock clicks into place and once again, the air outside cuts itself short, leaving only the dank humidity of liquor and sweat.]
yeah got a lot to do dont yu? suppose thats a start. finally seeing the point ? [He follows the wall and his heels quietly snap off the floor under the noise of the bar. The Sin snorts out a short laugh from his nose, and the corner of his mouth lifts silently in the dark.]
you know better. i never cheat [And he's about to finish that thought, but then the video loads and as the former homunculus presses play, he finds himself stopping part way down the hall.]
[Whatever may be happening beyond him doesn't matter. People pass him by (shadows of people with their faces blurred in neon and their conversations muddled together like mud). And yet, the Sin remains still. Even as a gaggle nearly topples through the doorframe (their laughter, careless and carefree), he's still.]
["My past has tasted bitter for years now."]
[He feels his shoulder touch the wall as he ties his ankles together, forcing him at a low lean.]
["Grace is just weakness."]
[Is it?]
["I'll be good, I'll be good - "]
[Hasn't he always been? Hasn't he always been good? Been righteous? He doesn't notice his tail is already going. Not with bitterness or with anger, but with that solemn, unknown in-between. Where words aren't worth shit, and anything he could say wouldn't make a damn difference.]
[Choices, right? They always have their consequences.]
[Without thinking about it, Greed elbows open a supply closet.] didnt know you were such a singr blue eyes [One of his hands grabs a switch, and the light tryingly flutters.] yeah bit of a morning person arent you? just keep in mind what i told ya. you might feell it a whole lot more tomorrw
[ Slowly but surely he finds himself feeling more euphoric than completely wasted—that comes later. For now he is taking five, prodding at his empty class idly. ]
dont be hasty i still dont liek it, jus hav e to sometimes. body gives out. dont u?
[ Even though Greed can’t hear it, he does proclaim rather loudly that he bets he has cheated at something before. And of course, since he is still drinking: ]
hmm maybe not thiw century but evetyone has cheated at somrtning before
[ Oh, to hell with this. Instead of trying to continue typing, he calls him. He obviously has some free time if he is talking to him. When he picks up Michael’s voice contains a playful lilt it doesn’t usually have along with a light slur. He is trying to find a quiet spot to talk. ]
You offering to walk me home? I said I didn’t like singing, not that I couldn’t. There isn’t anyone in Heaven who can’t sing, it’s practically a prerequisite.
[ Despite the fact that it isn’t a video call, he waggles his finger at the screen. ] I’m fiiine, isn’t this me letting go of the reins? I thought you’d be happy I left the hotel room. Or maybe you miss me?
[ .. pfft! Yep, this angel is a goner. Of course he laughs, loosening up a few of the buttons on his shirt to help himself cool off. But drunk Michael is also honest Michael, so he just continues digging his own grave. ]
You know, I’ve been practicing my dancing and the next time? You’re going to be so impressed. You don’t need a partner, just a mirror for proper hand placement..
some of them maybe but the othrs came from home. what you dont think i was the only bartender in amestris did you?
[He taps the light a couple of times.]
gunna have to get used to it. and sure mayube once or twice. but i dont usually sleep unless i have to [Greed nips at his lip when the bulb blinks again.] and you wuldnt wanna know about the other times
[The Sin's got a new bulb in hand and the old one in his mouth when he feels the phone buzz against his leg. He slaps it once on his thigh before shoving it between his ear and his shoulder.]
Now that depends. And we wouldn't be walking. [The points of his teeth clink against the lightbulb's aluminum cap.] I don't know, Blues. It suits ya.
[And y'know, he's almost got it. The light's mostly screwed in, and he's merely seconds away from winding it tight. But then Michael has to go and say that and one by one, both bulbs hit the floor. Greed swears, brushing the shards of glass aside in a series of soft, brittle tinks.] Fuck. What? Yeah, I'm glad you're actually getting out there, Feathers. Took you long enough.
[Is he going to ignore that little question? Absolutely! Instead, he rips another light out of a box and shoves it into the ceiling. But hearing Michael laugh: that's better than any music. And as the Sin brushes his tail over the floor, he slides his eyes curiously towards the phone.]
[Well, tonight is just full of surprises, isn't it?]
Oh, I'm sure I will be. Might not need one, but it's a whole lot better with a partner - [Clicking his tongue, the former homunculus idly rummages through the shelves.] - and you've always impressed me, Blue Eyes. Even if your dance moves could have used a little work.
Of course I know that, but you had to be a popular one with all the other things you had going on.
[ He slaps his hand down against something, sending a dull thud into the receiver as he has an inebriated epiphany. ]
Equivalent exchange! From now on, I’ll only sleep if you do. [ Not true, he will sleep after this whole fiasco. ] So sleep or we’ll both be miserable. You aren’t afraid of sleeping alone are you?
[ Of course he isn’t but that isn’t going to stop him from teasing a little. ] And how would you know that? I’m a great listener, so you should tell me one day.
I am perfectly capable of walking home. If you plan on carrying me I’m going to say no. [ He sounds downright insulted, even the sound of his feathers puffing up can be heard. But he’s quiet for a bit after he compliments him. ] .. I haven’t done it in a while, not since—
[ But then he hears the glass shatter and forces himself to sober up for a moment. ] Are you all right? What happened? [ The fact that he’s still talking after has him letting out a little sigh of relief. Maybe he did overdo it a little tonight. ] Next time you could come with us or we could go by ourselves? If you want to. Would that be strange?
[ He leans up against a wall, tilting his head back to rest against it. The smile on his face right now has nothing to do with drinks. ] So, does that mean you plan to give me another chance? How generous of you. Oh, and Greed?
[ Look at him, not being a pissant. Oh, wait, he forgot something. ] I missed you too.
Popular isn't exactly the word I'd use. [Greed picks up a piece of paper, reads it once, then slips it between a tower of boxes.] But we were far enough away from Central that people felt a whole lot more comfortable telling their secrets.
[The slap yanks his attention back to the phone pinned to his ear.] Equivalent - [The Sin grunts, elbowing a can of paint deeper into the shelf.] - that's not what that means. But fine, sure. As long as you make good on the deal.
[Sleeping alone. The laughter that comes out of him is airy, wispy.] Who said I ever sleep alone? But no. I'm not afraid of it. Just never had to before. Not unless I wanted to. Why? [His smile is practically audible through the receiver: the peel of it, tight and needling.] You offering?
[He sighs as he straightens to a stand.] Trust me, I know this one. I'm not doubting you're a great listener, Blue Eyes. But I don't think you want to hear about me - [Trailing off, the former homunculus twirls his wrist.] - forget it. You were saying something. And I'm fine, was just changing a light.
[He can hear the sounds of the bar pressing against the wall, but they're dull. Distant. Like the trickles of a party ten rooms over. The Sin watches the shelves. Try as he may, nothing will give him an answer. Not the paint, not the boxes, not the broken pieces of lights twinkling like glitter on the floor.]
[So, he finds one himself.] Wouldn't say no to that. And what do you mean? What's strange about that? We're usually here alone most nights. [Still, that core of is: it's yelling again. Yelling and twisting as anxious as an egg about to crack.] We could just find somewhere else to go. Need to check out a few places anyway.
[But his foot is tapping, his tail is twitching, and thank no God, the door is shut. Greed laughs into the phone.] Gahaha - ! You know there's nothing generous about me, but for this? Sure. Let's see how well you mo -
[What.]
["I missed you too."]
[What.]
[You know that saying? About turning it off and on again?]
[Eventually, after at least a solid minute, the Sin shakes his head.] Let me know if you and the Showman need a ride once you're done for the night.
Popular with a different crowd then, not unlike here. Except you aren’t being chased down by anyone. Which has to be liberating in its own right.
[ His answer is quick and to the point. ] Not in the context you might be accustomed to, but I remember falling asleep on your couch. It wasn’t terrible, you stayed with me for most of the night — I remember feeling your hand on my leg.
[ He exhales in an overly exaggerated manner, giving the phone a are you serious look. ] You don’t care what I am, I don’t care what you are or what you’ve done. If I didn’t want to know I wouldn’t ask, but just say you don’t want to talk about it. You know I won’t push.
[ He probably wouldn’t have noticed him being distracted even without the liquid courage in his belly right now. He finds himself chewing on his lip, eyes meeting the floor. He never looks down, always being so sure of himself when eyes are upon him. ]
I’m asking you if it’s strange that I want to be alone with you outside of the bar. I can’t figure it out myself but something feels different. .. Fuck, just ignore that, I’m getting lost in my head again. [ And he can feel his anxiety building, it can’t catch up to him if he runs away from it first. ] Sure, we could do that. If you can keep the theft to a minimum, though..
[ Unfortunately, he takes the pause to mean he overstepped his boundaries, so he hesitates for a moment. How can he backpedal out of this foolishness? Oh, he should have just kept his damn mouth shut. ]
Yeah. Yeah, I will. I won’t keep you any longer, you have to get back to work, right?
With a certain crowd. [Greed answers, pocketing his hands. He turns his head up towards the ceiling.] And liberating is an interesting way of putting it. It wasn't like I was hiding, Blue Eyes. Suppose they figured I'd show up sooner or later. Eh -
[He tips back his heel, throwing the toe of his boot up and into the air. Yeah, he remembers: Michael on his couch, the faint smell of soap on his skin, and defeat beaten into every, single one of his feathers. It'd started then, hadn't it? When his coveting hands first wandered before he even realized what it was he wanted.]
[The Sin pivots towards the door.] Wouldn't be right if I left you there, Blues. All things considered - [He doesn't elaborate. Michael's trying to have a good night, after all.]
[Instead, he reaches for the door and he feels something thunk against his chest.] No, I don't care what you are. I never have. And you say that, but I don't think you want to hear about who I've fucked. Besides, not sure they're really my stories to tell, hmn? [And why does it feel weird to talk about that? He sleeps around plenty, that's no secret. So why does it matter now?]
[It doesn't. But as his claws reach up to his throat and blindly hook a thin chain of steel hung about his neck, the former homunculus mindlessly thumbs open the side of his watch.]
[Greed narrows his eyes.]
[Michael's not in that picture.]
[Michael should be in that picture.]
[Fuck it.]
[The Sin throws the door open as he begins to wind his way through the bar. He dodges people, questions, the stray strokes of hands on his chest. It's to a window that he goes and as his fist curls around the frame, he yanks it open, sticking one leg over the sill. He can see a few icicles hanging from the fire escape.]
Y'know - [He bites, wedging the phone tight into his shoulder. The sound of the ladder being pulled down is loud and rusty.] - for a man that's over 10,000 years old, you're really fucking dense.
[His boots drum off the wrought iron, breaking apart sheets of ice.] It isn't strange, Blue Eyes. So you want to be alone with me. So what. [A whistle of wind nips at the receiver.] You think I don't?
[The cold air, while it doesn't do much, gives him all the excuses he needs. And as he continues his climb, the Sin focuses on the steel under his claws and on the slips of ice as they crack, break, and tumble into the alleyway below.]
Sorry, but that's something I can't do. [Ignoring him. He couldn't even if he wanted to.] Someone's gotta keep you from getting lost in your head.
[Finally, he clears the ledge, leaving the rumbling of the bar as a far-off echo. A couple of cars pass by and as they honk, the former homunculus idly begins to cross the roof. He pulls out a fresh cigarette, clicking his tongue.] Can't promise that, either. It's in my nature. But I'll try not to get you too involved. Fair enough?
[Greed quickly swipes his claws against the aluminum frame of a vent, coaxing a spark.] Maybe you forgot, but I own this place, Feathers. [He inhales, exhales, stopping at the edge.]
Michael - [He says his name this time.] - I'm going to ask you again. And I know, I'm cheating. You can hold it against me later. [The Sin shakes his wrist.]
No, you wouldn’t be the type to hide away and lick your wounds. It’s a trait I admire, hiding just delays the inevitable and keeps one from enjoying life. Better to have loved and lost, hm?
[ Needless to say, this conversation is sobering him up quicker than his body can and he is silently cursing over it. ]
You had already helped me more than you needed to but I suppose dwelling on it now doesn’t do me any good. You did what you did and I’m grateful for it. When I needed help you gave it to me without a second thought. I don’t know why I chose that roof, I was never intending to go inside. I just wanted to catch my breath.
[ A partial truth, his wings carried him there because it was a safe, neutral space. Even though the two of them fought viciously at one point, he knew Greed would treat him fairly and not try to put an angelic weapon through his chest on sight. Their chats gave him an incredible amount of insight about not the man and the monster. ]
No! [ A bit calmer: ] No, I don’t need to know about your history. That isn’t what I was trying to say, I just wanted you to know that if something does happen, you can rely on me. If it makes it easier, I can say the Seal of Confession means I will never share your secrets.
I’m not dense, Greed, that has nothing to do with it. If you think I haven’t noticed? You’re wrong, you’re so very wrong. [ His voice is muffled as he scrubs a hand across his face, sighing against it. This wasn’t part of the plan tonight, he was just going to bullshit with him for a little while and go right back to the festivities.
Now he is visibly trying to tuck himself away into a corner to hide not just from prying eyes but also himself. Fuck, this is not how he wanted to do this. Did he even want to do this? God, he doesn’t even know himself anymore. ]
Do you know what it feels like to want for something that you shouldn’t? That you can’t have? You want everything, don’t you? I’ve never— [ He cuts himself off, switching the phone to his other ear. ] To be fed the tales of how vile and mindless Sinners are, of how they will be the thing that destroys us, how they will do anything to tempt an angel away from His Grace.
I thought there was something wrong with me. I’ve never felt want because I was never supposed to feel it. I expected it to wither on the vine but it has grown since that night. It was a dull roar before but now..
[ He closes his eyes and listens to the sounds of life on the other end of the phone because watching everyone else is distracting. If he doesn’t ground himself then he isn’t ever going to get this out. ]
You should’ve just let me stay in my head, it would have saved us both a little grief, but you just had to find a way in. I suppose that’s par for the course for you. [ He exhales through his nose, not quite getting the fully intended laugh out. Where a heart should be, he feels his chest begin to ache and places a hand over it, expecting to find a weeping wound. ]
If I knew what I wanted, this conversation would be a lot easier. [ Only two people have ever asked him what he wanted before and even then, he had no answer for the first one. He nearly lets it happen a second time but finds his mouth moving of its own accord. ] I want to know what this is.
Even if I’m damned because I pursued it, I want to know. To see it through.
[The Sin knuckles his cigarette, letting a waft of smoke drift thin around his face. He watches another car pass by; its headlights like streaks of paint in the sleet.] Don't know about loving and losing, Blue Eyes. But you're wrong about one thing. I left them for a reason, remember? I wouldn't have been able to get what I wanted if I spent all that time hiding. There was nothing admirable about it.
[Running, though. He'd done that plenty. Running, avoiding, and making sure his tracks were thoroughly covered. But that's not a story for now, especially since he can practically hear Michael sobering up by the minute. Greed grips his sides.] Why wouldn't I? You're talking like I did you a favor or something.
[He slides his boot against the lip of the roof, sending another pile of ice tumbling down, down, down.] I wouldn't change what I did, if that makes you feel any better.
[Finally, he urges up a smile and a cloud of cold air fogs at his mouth.] Gunna make me confess to you now? If that's the case, we might be here for a while. But then again, guess we've got all the time in the world, don't we?
[The former homunculus goes quiet, listening to Michael's voice through he receiver. He can't see him, but he can almost picture it: the Archangel tucked into a corner with the busyness of the bar surrounding him, swaying like of living, breathing thing. He takes another drag off his cigarette before tossing it onto the roof.]
Everyone wants something they can't have. [He exhales.] I'm not excluded from that. You think I haven't wanted something that I shouldn't before? [Again, he can feel that core of his: how it tenses, trembles, and claws at the sides of his skull like a corned, feral cat.]
[Greed clicks his teeth together, and a thin gasp of smoke squeezes out of his mouth.] Tch. There's never been anything wrong with you, Blues. You say you were never meant to feel it, but that isn't true either. You made that clear the moment I met you. You wanted to protect the ones you cared about. It's the same thing. Might not be to you and yours, but that's still greed. Everyone from your world's just got the whole thing wrong -
[He levels his toes over the roof, shrugging his shoulders to no one.] You want me to say I regret it? I don't. [The Sin takes a moment to lift his heel and as the back of it slowly begins to grind his cigarette to dust, he focuses out on the city again. On the lights blinking back, and the sighs of heat gaping sleepily from a few, street-side vents.]
Then I guess we'll see it through together, won't we? [The tone of his voice is low, distant. Because for once? He's the one lost in his head.] But it doesn't have to be anything you don't want it to be. [Behind him, his tail whips out, gliding the steel of it lightly over the roof.]
Now, do me a favor, would ya? And go actually have some fun for once. I've have some things to finish up here, and you've got some catching up to do. Don't think Beetle isn't already ahead of you by a long shot. [Greed grins, turning his attention back on the phone.]
And since it's probably your first time, I'll come by later with a few things to take care of that hangover you're probably going to have after all this.
Considering I attacked and tried to kill you in the same week? I'd be willing to call that above and beyond a favor, you should've turned heel and walked away when you saw me up there. Before I knew you, had I come across the scene, I'm not sure I would have been as generous.
[ No, even when he was the most disappointed in humanity, he still would have reached his hand out to them whether they asked for his help or not. Does that make him a pushover? Maybe, but he can't change what he is. He will always be there in someone's greatest time of need and not because of some role given to him in life. He takes pride in what he does, and it gives him purpose. ]
I think you've already confessed enough to me, I'll let you keep some of your secrets out of the goodness of my heart. [ A gentle tease. ] If you told me everything in one sitting, what else would do for the rest of the night? My stories pale in comparison, I'm afraid, and you know more of them than most. [ Than anyone actually but that fact is obvious, Greed knows how much he appreciates his privacy. ]
Except neither one of us has a soul to bargain with, only a core with enough energy to power a network. When they are judged to be damned, they have the opportunity for redemption. What do we lose, Greed, if we're judged the same? [ He sounds so far away despite the proximity of his mouth to the receiver. He's given this thought. ] What you've wanted, would you have been willing to give up all that you are for it? Would the price be worth it?
[ There is always a price and very rarely is it ever a fair one across the board. He weighs the words he says to him carefully, letting the phone fall down to his side for a moment. His mouth feels dry all of the sudden, eyes scanning the lights above him as they dance between various colors. When he lifts the phone back up, he sounds unsure. ] I don't know what I want you to say, and that part terrifies me. Of course we have it wrong, look at the representation.
[ .. pfft. No, he isn't wrong at all. ]
You wouldn't be getting lost in your head over there, would you? I hear that's frowned upon here. [ He had to, he really did. Months of getting told to stop doing that have bubbled up to the surface, he can hardly be blamed for being a little cheeky. ] Ugh. That man could drink an Olympic-sized swimming pool full of these drinks and still be able to function, I'm convinced he is cheating somehow. Very well, I will, thank you.
[ The offer is touching and while he would rather play up the I'm fine card, he knows better. Whether he gives the green light or not, that door is going to open up at some point tonight and Saint Avaricious is going to make an unscheduled pitstop. ]
Probably? You know it is. I'd tell you not to worry about it, but I feel like I have no say in the matter and I'm sure I'll thank you for it in the morning. Thank you in advance just in case I'm not able to tell you later.
Tried. [Greed corrects, the snap of his tongue as quick as ever.] But you didn't. Anyway, there's no pointing in thinking about it. What's done is already done, Blue Eyes.
[Something pats out of earshot and while it is soft, there's no mistaking the ptt, ptt, ptt of paws as they tap against aluminum, causing an echo to beat inside the case like a drum. Greed presses his lips together. He blindly reaches one of his hands down to give Kamora a scritch.] Would you now? And out of the goodness of your heart, huh? [He flicks his eyes to the side, catching the cat's loathsome stare as she tries her very best to keep up her menacing appearance.]
[No one can resist his claws. Not even Kamora herself.]
Wouldn't say that. You've got a lot more years behind you than I do. [200 is nothing compared to 10,000 or more. The Sin guides his thumb around Kam's ear to press it softly between the pads of his fingers. When Michael continues, he slowly drops his hand away to hook two of his claws into the hem of his pants.]
You're asking me something I don't have an answer to. [He doesn't have to look to know. Kamora is already pinning him down with all three of her eyes.] You can't judge something that should have never - [The Sin shrugs his shoulders, letting the rest of the thought roll off his back. No, Michael is supposed to be out there, having fun, enjoying life. There's no need to go down that road if they don't have to.]
Now, that depends on what it was, doesn't it? [His smile splits, and another slop of ice tumbles from the rooftop.] There's always going to be a cost, Blue Eyes. As for whether it was worth it or not - [The forks of his tongue feel out the smooth parts of his teeth. However, it doesn't take him long to answer.] - yeah, it had been worth it.
[Giving up all that he was, giving up his own, long-standing rule. It had been worth it. Even if he meant he had to look a man in the eye with a wide smile and lie straight to his face.]
[The former homunculus curls his finger to press his nail into the leather of his pants.] Then I won't say anything. Like I said, it doesn't have to be something you don't want it to be. Keep it simple. [Keep it simple, he says, like it isn't already so, god damn complicated already.]
[When Michael calls him out, the Sin clicks his jaws together and the length of his tail buzzes behind him; its trill as gentle as a small, shaken bell.] Using my own words against me now, you little pissant? [Walking away from the ledge, Greed lets out a sharp whistle.] Well, he is a ghost, y'know. Might be he can handle it a lot differently than you. I can't get drunk myself, so it wouldn't be all that surprising if it's the same with him.
[Kamora at his heels, Greed heads towards fire escape.] You've always got a choice, Blues. Just depends on whether or not I actually give a shit. [Which he does, and he'd be lying if he said otherwise.] But don't mention it. Not like I've got anything else to do tomorrow morning, anyway.
[What he doesn't say is that there are plenty of other things he could be doing, and plenty of other people he could be doing them with. But he doesn't plan to.]
[No, after last call is done and the bar is closed, he's got only one destination in mind.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
axe killers though…
[ Party Michael does not ramble, get wordy or scoff at the insinuation that BJ was not the best choice for an easy night out—but he did have fun. ]
not drunk tired
[ It is absolutely his first time getting wasted but in a way, maybe he needed it. Besides, as mischievous as his date is, he trusts him. ]
im fine. gonna sing me to slep greed?
[ Hm. He sure does have something on his collar and he is so distracted by it that he doesn’t bring up the cause immediately. ]
no subject
[He can handle it, huh?]
nothing faithful abot it. but whatvr you say
started here then. ha ! you shuld really know by now that i dont hold anything back. that includs the drinks blues
[The Sin pitches his cigarette down the alleyway. It hits the pavement in a puff of sparks before drowning itself in an ice-sloshed puddle.]
didnt think you needed sleep eithr. been lyin to me feathrs? and here ive been so honest [He teases (well, as much as he can through text).]
[However, there's a bit of a pause on his end. And maybe, he's gotten caught up in some business. Maybe someone pulled him aside. Either way, it takes about five minutes for his next response.]
yeah yeah im sure you are. and sorry cant do that. not exctly the singing type. ah hold on
[Another, quick second goes by. Eventually though, he manages to send over a picture. The image is just a shot of his hand with three of his claws spread apart in a stiff, double-tailed L-shape.]
how many am i holdin up?
no subject
i'll just have to yry them all adn sre
[ Yes, Michael, he purposefully upped the drinks just to bully you and drinking more is the best solution. ]
we sleep, im just veyr buzy. busy. w hen i tire myslf out i sleep or if i sue to much pwr
[ it takes Michael even longer to get back to him because he is squinting at the picture and probably even conferring with his fellow drunken party member. ]
ypu are cheating thag is blurry [ No it isn't. Rather that dwell on this perceived deception, he continues on. ] ok i am BAD at drinks but i am so gooc at karOKE
[ The proof is in the pudding or in this case in a short video. For a guy who says he dislikes singing he is damn good at it, singing a moving rendition of I'll Be Good. But he doesn't seem to be looking at any of the crowd, he is staring at the air above them and belting out his pain, which none of them understand. No one ever does. They just see a pretty face, an angel, letting himself go and they are here for it. Especially a group of succubi who are ninety-nine percent guilty of putting those lipstick smears on his collar. ]
im not trying all the drinks by the way i hav to ge up darly tomorrow
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[Greed turns, sliding his heel from the door to let it shut behind him. The lock clicks into place and once again, the air outside cuts itself short, leaving only the dank humidity of liquor and sweat.]
yeah got a lot to do dont yu? suppose thats a start. finally seeing the point ? [He follows the wall and his heels quietly snap off the floor under the noise of the bar. The Sin snorts out a short laugh from his nose, and the corner of his mouth lifts silently in the dark.]
you know better. i never cheat [And he's about to finish that thought, but then the video loads and as the former homunculus presses play, he finds himself stopping part way down the hall.]
[Whatever may be happening beyond him doesn't matter. People pass him by (shadows of people with their faces blurred in neon and their conversations muddled together like mud). And yet, the Sin remains still. Even as a gaggle nearly topples through the doorframe (their laughter, careless and carefree), he's still.]
["My past has tasted bitter for years now."]
[He feels his shoulder touch the wall as he ties his ankles together, forcing him at a low lean.]
["Grace is just weakness."]
[Is it?]
["I'll be good, I'll be good - "]
[Hasn't he always been? Hasn't he always been good? Been righteous? He doesn't notice his tail is already going. Not with bitterness or with anger, but with that solemn, unknown in-between. Where words aren't worth shit, and anything he could say wouldn't make a damn difference.]
[Choices, right? They always have their consequences.]
[Without thinking about it, Greed elbows open a supply closet.] didnt know you were such a singr blue eyes [One of his hands grabs a switch, and the light tryingly flutters.] yeah bit of a morning person arent you? just keep in mind what i told ya. you might feell it a whole lot more tomorrw
you gunna be all right getting yourself home?
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[ Slowly but surely he finds himself feeling more euphoric than completely wasted—that comes later. For now he is taking five, prodding at his empty class idly. ]
dont be hasty i still dont liek it, jus hav e to sometimes. body gives out. dont u?
[ Even though Greed can’t hear it, he does proclaim rather loudly that he bets he has cheated at something before. And of course, since he is still drinking: ]
hmm maybe not thiw century but evetyone has cheated at somrtning before
[ Oh, to hell with this. Instead of trying to continue typing, he calls him. He obviously has some free time if he is talking to him. When he picks up Michael’s voice contains a playful lilt it doesn’t usually have along with a light slur. He is trying to find a quiet spot to talk. ]
You offering to walk me home? I said I didn’t like singing, not that I couldn’t. There isn’t anyone in Heaven who can’t sing, it’s practically a prerequisite.
[ Despite the fact that it isn’t a video call, he waggles his finger at the screen. ] I’m fiiine, isn’t this me letting go of the reins? I thought you’d be happy I left the hotel room. Or maybe you miss me?
[ .. pfft! Yep, this angel is a goner. Of course he laughs, loosening up a few of the buttons on his shirt to help himself cool off. But drunk Michael is also honest Michael, so he just continues digging his own grave. ]
You know, I’ve been practicing my dancing and the next time? You’re going to be so impressed. You don’t need a partner, just a mirror for proper hand placement..
[ He is going to want to die tomorrow. ]
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[He taps the light a couple of times.]
gunna have to get used to it. and sure mayube once or twice. but i dont usually sleep unless i have to [Greed nips at his lip when the bulb blinks again.] and you wuldnt wanna know about the other times
[The Sin's got a new bulb in hand and the old one in his mouth when he feels the phone buzz against his leg. He slaps it once on his thigh before shoving it between his ear and his shoulder.]
Now that depends. And we wouldn't be walking. [The points of his teeth clink against the lightbulb's aluminum cap.] I don't know, Blues. It suits ya.
[And y'know, he's almost got it. The light's mostly screwed in, and he's merely seconds away from winding it tight. But then Michael has to go and say that and one by one, both bulbs hit the floor. Greed swears, brushing the shards of glass aside in a series of soft, brittle tinks.] Fuck. What? Yeah, I'm glad you're actually getting out there, Feathers. Took you long enough.
[Is he going to ignore that little question? Absolutely! Instead, he rips another light out of a box and shoves it into the ceiling. But hearing Michael laugh: that's better than any music. And as the Sin brushes his tail over the floor, he slides his eyes curiously towards the phone.]
[Well, tonight is just full of surprises, isn't it?]
Oh, I'm sure I will be. Might not need one, but it's a whole lot better with a partner - [Clicking his tongue, the former homunculus idly rummages through the shelves.] - and you've always impressed me, Blue Eyes. Even if your dance moves could have used a little work.
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[ He slaps his hand down against something, sending a dull thud into the receiver as he has an inebriated epiphany. ]
Equivalent exchange! From now on, I’ll only sleep if you do. [ Not true, he will sleep after this whole fiasco. ] So sleep or we’ll both be miserable. You aren’t afraid of sleeping alone are you?
[ Of course he isn’t but that isn’t going to stop him from teasing a little. ] And how would you know that? I’m a great listener, so you should tell me one day.
I am perfectly capable of walking home. If you plan on carrying me I’m going to say no. [ He sounds downright insulted, even the sound of his feathers puffing up can be heard. But he’s quiet for a bit after he compliments him. ] .. I haven’t done it in a while, not since—
[ But then he hears the glass shatter and forces himself to sober up for a moment. ] Are you all right? What happened? [ The fact that he’s still talking after has him letting out a little sigh of relief. Maybe he did overdo it a little tonight. ] Next time you could come with us or we could go by ourselves? If you want to. Would that be strange?
[ He leans up against a wall, tilting his head back to rest against it. The smile on his face right now has nothing to do with drinks. ] So, does that mean you plan to give me another chance? How generous of you. Oh, and Greed?
[ Look at him, not being a pissant. Oh, wait, he forgot something. ] I missed you too.
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[The slap yanks his attention back to the phone pinned to his ear.] Equivalent - [The Sin grunts, elbowing a can of paint deeper into the shelf.] - that's not what that means. But fine, sure. As long as you make good on the deal.
[Sleeping alone. The laughter that comes out of him is airy, wispy.] Who said I ever sleep alone? But no. I'm not afraid of it. Just never had to before. Not unless I wanted to. Why? [His smile is practically audible through the receiver: the peel of it, tight and needling.] You offering?
[He sighs as he straightens to a stand.] Trust me, I know this one. I'm not doubting you're a great listener, Blue Eyes. But I don't think you want to hear about me - [Trailing off, the former homunculus twirls his wrist.] - forget it. You were saying something. And I'm fine, was just changing a light.
[He can hear the sounds of the bar pressing against the wall, but they're dull. Distant. Like the trickles of a party ten rooms over. The Sin watches the shelves. Try as he may, nothing will give him an answer. Not the paint, not the boxes, not the broken pieces of lights twinkling like glitter on the floor.]
[So, he finds one himself.] Wouldn't say no to that. And what do you mean? What's strange about that? We're usually here alone most nights. [Still, that core of is: it's yelling again. Yelling and twisting as anxious as an egg about to crack.] We could just find somewhere else to go. Need to check out a few places anyway.
[But his foot is tapping, his tail is twitching, and thank no God, the door is shut. Greed laughs into the phone.] Gahaha - ! You know there's nothing generous about me, but for this? Sure. Let's see how well you mo -
[What.]
["I missed you too."]
[What.]
[You know that saying? About turning it off and on again?]
[Eventually, after at least a solid minute, the Sin shakes his head.] Let me know if you and the Showman need a ride once you're done for the night.
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[ His answer is quick and to the point. ] Not in the context you might be accustomed to, but I remember falling asleep on your couch. It wasn’t terrible, you stayed with me for most of the night — I remember feeling your hand on my leg.
[ He exhales in an overly exaggerated manner, giving the phone a are you serious look. ] You don’t care what I am, I don’t care what you are or what you’ve done. If I didn’t want to know I wouldn’t ask, but just say you don’t want to talk about it. You know I won’t push.
[ He probably wouldn’t have noticed him being distracted even without the liquid courage in his belly right now. He finds himself chewing on his lip, eyes meeting the floor. He never looks down, always being so sure of himself when eyes are upon him. ]
I’m asking you if it’s strange that I want to be alone with you outside of the bar. I can’t figure it out myself but something feels different. .. Fuck, just ignore that, I’m getting lost in my head again. [ And he can feel his anxiety building, it can’t catch up to him if he runs away from it first. ] Sure, we could do that. If you can keep the theft to a minimum, though..
[ Unfortunately, he takes the pause to mean he overstepped his boundaries, so he hesitates for a moment. How can he backpedal out of this foolishness? Oh, he should have just kept his damn mouth shut. ]
Yeah. Yeah, I will. I won’t keep you any longer, you have to get back to work, right?
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[He tips back his heel, throwing the toe of his boot up and into the air. Yeah, he remembers: Michael on his couch, the faint smell of soap on his skin, and defeat beaten into every, single one of his feathers. It'd started then, hadn't it? When his coveting hands first wandered before he even realized what it was he wanted.]
[The Sin pivots towards the door.] Wouldn't be right if I left you there, Blues. All things considered - [He doesn't elaborate. Michael's trying to have a good night, after all.]
[Instead, he reaches for the door and he feels something thunk against his chest.] No, I don't care what you are. I never have. And you say that, but I don't think you want to hear about who I've fucked. Besides, not sure they're really my stories to tell, hmn? [And why does it feel weird to talk about that? He sleeps around plenty, that's no secret. So why does it matter now?]
[It doesn't. But as his claws reach up to his throat and blindly hook a thin chain of steel hung about his neck, the former homunculus mindlessly thumbs open the side of his watch.]
[Greed narrows his eyes.]
[Michael's not in that picture.]
[Michael should be in that picture.]
[Fuck it.]
[The Sin throws the door open as he begins to wind his way through the bar. He dodges people, questions, the stray strokes of hands on his chest. It's to a window that he goes and as his fist curls around the frame, he yanks it open, sticking one leg over the sill. He can see a few icicles hanging from the fire escape.]
Y'know - [He bites, wedging the phone tight into his shoulder. The sound of the ladder being pulled down is loud and rusty.] - for a man that's over 10,000 years old, you're really fucking dense.
[His boots drum off the wrought iron, breaking apart sheets of ice.] It isn't strange, Blue Eyes. So you want to be alone with me. So what. [A whistle of wind nips at the receiver.] You think I don't?
[The cold air, while it doesn't do much, gives him all the excuses he needs. And as he continues his climb, the Sin focuses on the steel under his claws and on the slips of ice as they crack, break, and tumble into the alleyway below.]
Sorry, but that's something I can't do. [Ignoring him. He couldn't even if he wanted to.] Someone's gotta keep you from getting lost in your head.
[Finally, he clears the ledge, leaving the rumbling of the bar as a far-off echo. A couple of cars pass by and as they honk, the former homunculus idly begins to cross the roof. He pulls out a fresh cigarette, clicking his tongue.] Can't promise that, either. It's in my nature. But I'll try not to get you too involved. Fair enough?
[Greed quickly swipes his claws against the aluminum frame of a vent, coaxing a spark.] Maybe you forgot, but I own this place, Feathers. [He inhales, exhales, stopping at the edge.]
Michael - [He says his name this time.] - I'm going to ask you again. And I know, I'm cheating. You can hold it against me later. [The Sin shakes his wrist.]
What do you want? What do you really want?
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[ Needless to say, this conversation is sobering him up quicker than his body can and he is silently cursing over it. ]
You had already helped me more than you needed to but I suppose dwelling on it now doesn’t do me any good. You did what you did and I’m grateful for it. When I needed help you gave it to me without a second thought. I don’t know why I chose that roof, I was never intending to go inside. I just wanted to catch my breath.
[ A partial truth, his wings carried him there because it was a safe, neutral space. Even though the two of them fought viciously at one point, he knew Greed would treat him fairly and not try to put an angelic weapon through his chest on sight. Their chats gave him an incredible amount of insight about not the man and the monster. ]
No! [ A bit calmer: ] No, I don’t need to know about your history. That isn’t what I was trying to say, I just wanted you to know that if something does happen, you can rely on me. If it makes it easier, I can say the Seal of Confession means I will never share your secrets.
I’m not dense, Greed, that has nothing to do with it. If you think I haven’t noticed? You’re wrong, you’re so very wrong. [ His voice is muffled as he scrubs a hand across his face, sighing against it. This wasn’t part of the plan tonight, he was just going to bullshit with him for a little while and go right back to the festivities.
Now he is visibly trying to tuck himself away into a corner to hide not just from prying eyes but also himself. Fuck, this is not how he wanted to do this. Did he even want to do this? God, he doesn’t even know himself anymore. ]
Do you know what it feels like to want for something that you shouldn’t? That you can’t have? You want everything, don’t you? I’ve never— [ He cuts himself off, switching the phone to his other ear. ] To be fed the tales of how vile and mindless Sinners are, of how they will be the thing that destroys us, how they will do anything to tempt an angel away from His Grace.
I thought there was something wrong with me. I’ve never felt want because I was never supposed to feel it. I expected it to wither on the vine but it has grown since that night. It was a dull roar before but now..
[ He closes his eyes and listens to the sounds of life on the other end of the phone because watching everyone else is distracting. If he doesn’t ground himself then he isn’t ever going to get this out. ]
You should’ve just let me stay in my head, it would have saved us both a little grief, but you just had to find a way in. I suppose that’s par for the course for you. [ He exhales through his nose, not quite getting the fully intended laugh out. Where a heart should be, he feels his chest begin to ache and places a hand over it, expecting to find a weeping wound. ]
If I knew what I wanted, this conversation would be a lot easier. [ Only two people have ever asked him what he wanted before and even then, he had no answer for the first one. He nearly lets it happen a second time but finds his mouth moving of its own accord. ] I want to know what this is.
Even if I’m damned because I pursued it, I want to know. To see it through.
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[Running, though. He'd done that plenty. Running, avoiding, and making sure his tracks were thoroughly covered. But that's not a story for now, especially since he can practically hear Michael sobering up by the minute. Greed grips his sides.] Why wouldn't I? You're talking like I did you a favor or something.
[He slides his boot against the lip of the roof, sending another pile of ice tumbling down, down, down.] I wouldn't change what I did, if that makes you feel any better.
[Finally, he urges up a smile and a cloud of cold air fogs at his mouth.] Gunna make me confess to you now? If that's the case, we might be here for a while. But then again, guess we've got all the time in the world, don't we?
[The former homunculus goes quiet, listening to Michael's voice through he receiver. He can't see him, but he can almost picture it: the Archangel tucked into a corner with the busyness of the bar surrounding him, swaying like of living, breathing thing. He takes another drag off his cigarette before tossing it onto the roof.]
Everyone wants something they can't have. [He exhales.] I'm not excluded from that. You think I haven't wanted something that I shouldn't before? [Again, he can feel that core of his: how it tenses, trembles, and claws at the sides of his skull like a corned, feral cat.]
[Greed clicks his teeth together, and a thin gasp of smoke squeezes out of his mouth.] Tch. There's never been anything wrong with you, Blues. You say you were never meant to feel it, but that isn't true either. You made that clear the moment I met you. You wanted to protect the ones you cared about. It's the same thing. Might not be to you and yours, but that's still greed. Everyone from your world's just got the whole thing wrong -
[He levels his toes over the roof, shrugging his shoulders to no one.] You want me to say I regret it? I don't. [The Sin takes a moment to lift his heel and as the back of it slowly begins to grind his cigarette to dust, he focuses out on the city again. On the lights blinking back, and the sighs of heat gaping sleepily from a few, street-side vents.]
Then I guess we'll see it through together, won't we? [The tone of his voice is low, distant. Because for once? He's the one lost in his head.] But it doesn't have to be anything you don't want it to be. [Behind him, his tail whips out, gliding the steel of it lightly over the roof.]
Now, do me a favor, would ya? And go actually have some fun for once. I've have some things to finish up here, and you've got some catching up to do. Don't think Beetle isn't already ahead of you by a long shot. [Greed grins, turning his attention back on the phone.]
And since it's probably your first time, I'll come by later with a few things to take care of that hangover you're probably going to have after all this.
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[ No, even when he was the most disappointed in humanity, he still would have reached his hand out to them whether they asked for his help or not. Does that make him a pushover? Maybe, but he can't change what he is. He will always be there in someone's greatest time of need and not because of some role given to him in life. He takes pride in what he does, and it gives him purpose. ]
I think you've already confessed enough to me, I'll let you keep some of your secrets out of the goodness of my heart. [ A gentle tease. ] If you told me everything in one sitting, what else would do for the rest of the night? My stories pale in comparison, I'm afraid, and you know more of them than most. [ Than anyone actually but that fact is obvious, Greed knows how much he appreciates his privacy. ]
Except neither one of us has a soul to bargain with, only a core with enough energy to power a network. When they are judged to be damned, they have the opportunity for redemption. What do we lose, Greed, if we're judged the same? [ He sounds so far away despite the proximity of his mouth to the receiver. He's given this thought. ] What you've wanted, would you have been willing to give up all that you are for it? Would the price be worth it?
[ There is always a price and very rarely is it ever a fair one across the board. He weighs the words he says to him carefully, letting the phone fall down to his side for a moment. His mouth feels dry all of the sudden, eyes scanning the lights above him as they dance between various colors. When he lifts the phone back up, he sounds unsure. ] I don't know what I want you to say, and that part terrifies me. Of course we have it wrong, look at the representation.
[ .. pfft. No, he isn't wrong at all. ]
You wouldn't be getting lost in your head over there, would you? I hear that's frowned upon here. [ He had to, he really did. Months of getting told to stop doing that have bubbled up to the surface, he can hardly be blamed for being a little cheeky. ] Ugh. That man could drink an Olympic-sized swimming pool full of these drinks and still be able to function, I'm convinced he is cheating somehow. Very well, I will, thank you.
[ The offer is touching and while he would rather play up the I'm fine card, he knows better. Whether he gives the green light or not, that door is going to open up at some point tonight and Saint Avaricious is going to make an unscheduled pitstop. ]
Probably? You know it is. I'd tell you not to worry about it, but I feel like I have no say in the matter and I'm sure I'll thank you for it in the morning. Thank you in advance just in case I'm not able to tell you later.
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[Something pats out of earshot and while it is soft, there's no mistaking the ptt, ptt, ptt of paws as they tap against aluminum, causing an echo to beat inside the case like a drum. Greed presses his lips together. He blindly reaches one of his hands down to give Kamora a scritch.] Would you now? And out of the goodness of your heart, huh? [He flicks his eyes to the side, catching the cat's loathsome stare as she tries her very best to keep up her menacing appearance.]
[No one can resist his claws. Not even Kamora herself.]
Wouldn't say that. You've got a lot more years behind you than I do. [200 is nothing compared to 10,000 or more. The Sin guides his thumb around Kam's ear to press it softly between the pads of his fingers. When Michael continues, he slowly drops his hand away to hook two of his claws into the hem of his pants.]
You're asking me something I don't have an answer to. [He doesn't have to look to know. Kamora is already pinning him down with all three of her eyes.] You can't judge something that should have never - [The Sin shrugs his shoulders, letting the rest of the thought roll off his back. No, Michael is supposed to be out there, having fun, enjoying life. There's no need to go down that road if they don't have to.]
Now, that depends on what it was, doesn't it? [His smile splits, and another slop of ice tumbles from the rooftop.] There's always going to be a cost, Blue Eyes. As for whether it was worth it or not - [The forks of his tongue feel out the smooth parts of his teeth. However, it doesn't take him long to answer.] - yeah, it had been worth it.
[Giving up all that he was, giving up his own, long-standing rule. It had been worth it. Even if he meant he had to look a man in the eye with a wide smile and lie straight to his face.]
[The former homunculus curls his finger to press his nail into the leather of his pants.] Then I won't say anything. Like I said, it doesn't have to be something you don't want it to be. Keep it simple. [Keep it simple, he says, like it isn't already so, god damn complicated already.]
[When Michael calls him out, the Sin clicks his jaws together and the length of his tail buzzes behind him; its trill as gentle as a small, shaken bell.] Using my own words against me now, you little pissant? [Walking away from the ledge, Greed lets out a sharp whistle.] Well, he is a ghost, y'know. Might be he can handle it a lot differently than you. I can't get drunk myself, so it wouldn't be all that surprising if it's the same with him.
[Kamora at his heels, Greed heads towards fire escape.] You've always got a choice, Blues. Just depends on whether or not I actually give a shit. [Which he does, and he'd be lying if he said otherwise.] But don't mention it. Not like I've got anything else to do tomorrow morning, anyway.
[What he doesn't say is that there are plenty of other things he could be doing, and plenty of other people he could be doing them with. But he doesn't plan to.]
[No, after last call is done and the bar is closed, he's got only one destination in mind.]